In today’s video, I’m digging up a nice little time capsule of early 2000s pickup: Newgrounds’ Pick-Up Game. It is a dating sim (or rather a pick-up sim) that embodies everything wrong with millenarian PUA activity.

In other words, I’m returning to my old wheelhouse, I used to do video game reviews after all, and you can still view those in my Youtube channel.

This is very much pickup in the “Mystery Method/Neil Straussian” mold, and it’s every bit as bad as you’d expect from that description.

So we’re greeted by our mentor, a guy who looks disturbingly like a bald Mystery. Says he, “YOU MIGHT BE AN AFC BUT YOU CAN BE AN MPUA AND GET THOSE SHBS.”

“But if I’m an AFC how can I be an MPUA to get the SHBs because I’m too busy watching the NFC and I can’t BBQ in the OBGYN with my LRC and the BBC and I SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU GUYS DON’T DO THIS.”

Acronyms aside…accompanying not-Mystery is terrible generic music. He tells me to go the bar, regardless of whether or not I actually want to.

But believe me, it picks up after all of that. You might notice a few issues in the video that may not be to your liking. The first of which is that the resolution is somewhat poor, that’s because I recorded it directly off of my computer screen, my apologies. The second is that I might sound somewhat phlegmy at parts in the video, that’s because I have been feeling somewhat under the weather. The things I do for you people…

Anyway, if you liked the video, please subscribe to my Youtube Channel

Or visit my twitter

Or my Gab 

Or my Dailymotion 

Or my Vid.Me 

And in the unlikely event you want to donate to my patreon…