A frequent question I get from my readers and my clients, whether they be neophytes in fitness, music, martial arts, seduction, business, or anything else, is the simple question “Where and how do I start training?” And indeed, as somebody who was (very long ago) a novice in all these fields, I am well aware that diving into some new field that you have never done before can seen incredibly daunting.
With all that being said, I feel that I have lifted myself up from a state of incompetence to a state of competence in enough fields to determine what is, generally, the best way to put any training into effect:
The key is to always seek to progress or improve, even if it is an improvement of the smallest possible increment. “Baby steps”, if you must use the colloquial term. Indeed, I feel that more often than not those are the only sorts of improvements you can make in your training, for the simple reason that you’re likely not going to go from “zero to hero” overnight, and you have to accept that. Instead, just realize that any sort of progressive, persistent improvement is what you want, and in some ways is preferable to a hypothetical scenario of alternating between great improvements and stagnation (for the simple fact that such a thing would likely be more disheartening than slow but steady improvement).
Not realizing that most improvements are done with slow and persistent grinding is the cause of so much anxiety, the stereotypical “I’ll look dumb so therefore I won’t go to the gym” complaint of fat people. While as a gym employee myself I would argue most people don’t give a shit about you one way or another (and frankly, as a martial arts instructor at said gym, part of me wishes I could be allowed to do the “Cobra Kai” schtick), I understand this phenomena, and thus that is why I always recommend you should practice in your home, privately, to get the technique down, before you “go public”.
This can apply with fitness, public speaking, or any other skill. Fuck up as much as you can, to get the technique down. Then, tentatively, try it out on a “resisting opponent” (whether it be a literal example or just somebody who might reject your efforts, whatever they may be) until you get it cold.
As I and many other masculine writers point out, the only way you can get better at (to cite one example) talking to women is to…talk to as many women as possible. But at the same time, feel free to try to “pick up” yourself in the mirror before doing it for real, or even try talking to people in a non-sexual context. Any improvement or achievement will automatically build up to the next one. Any step forward is better than nothing at all, even if it is a mere “baby step”.
And once you understand this, your self improvement will begin.