If you’re anything like me (and chances are that you are if you’re reading my website), you probably grew up watching many an action movie, martial arts movie, stock 80s teen movie, or any combination of the above. Among many other things, you’ll notice that said movies seem to take a dim view of “Chadly” behavior, which is to say belligerently dumb macho behavior—most prominently, think of the Cobra Kai dojo from The Karate Kid and similar organizations in the many, many derivative kid/young adult-centric martial arts genre that followed The Karate Kid.

Or to put it in more modern terms for those young whippersnappers who are reading this that may not have seen The Karate Kid, observe any Planet Fitness commercial.

Such bellicosity, such brutal enforcement of one’s will and personality and masculine gender norms, no?

Is it wrong that even as a small child, part of me not only wanted to test my mettle in that sort of gym, but also that I have carried that philosophy with me, into not only my physical training regimen (and my training of others in my day job), but in my life on the whole?

To be clear, I don’t value sadism for its own sake, but rather I advocate for being willing to apply the whip hand should it be needed to discipline an unruly or lackadaisical student. “The carrot and the stick”, in other words. As I have repeatedly stated and/or alluded to, I was a shiftless and lazy wastrel in my childhood and adolesence. I certainly wouldnt have been able to maintain my modern schedule of working a full time job, exercising regularly, and producing three days of free internet content a week back during “the best years of my life”. How to explain the transition?

There were many factors that went into turning me into the productive dynamo I am today, but one of the biggest ones was having the whip hand applied to me by my strict-but-fair parents, and learning how to apply it to myself. Rightfully, my parents would constantly admonish and excoriate me to get off my lazy ass and at first I did stuff just to get them to shut up. Gradually, however, I noticed how accomplishing things not only felt good in its own right, but it also led to better performance in school, sports, and my daily life.

If that sounds familiar to long time Barbaric Gentleman readers, it should, it’s the old “constructive shame/katabasis” idea that I have already written about.

Many, many people are wont to complain about kids today being misbehaving little twats. I think it’s fair to say that the lack of anything resembling stern discipline is likely the biggest factor in that. But, again, care must be given to provide strict guidance without going to either extreme: neither pointless abuse and sadism or total leniency and being a doormat (which I would argue, is itself a form of child abuse).

I can personally vouch for how effective keeping a controlled (emphasis on controlled) sternness can be when in the gym. While a few kids have been made to cry under my auspices, and a few adults have quit and gone home, my proteges have shown themselves for the most part to perform better and reach their fitness goals faster than the Planet Fitness type hack trainer who throws pizza parties for their fat constiTuency.

This is a technique I have used as a music teacher and substitute teacher in addition to personal training, and to bring it all the way back to the “Cobra Kai” allusion, note that even Mr. Miyagi, while comparatively much gentler and fair-handed than John Kreese, certainly didn’t hesitate to bring the whip hand down on Daniel-San when he was being a whiny little bitch.

In a sporting team context, when one person is disciplined the others typically follow, and all encourage each other to do better.

To paraphrase the words of the late, great, George Carlin, one of the most important things you can do for a child is to let them fail, to let them feel the sting of failure and learn that A) it happens and B) It’s not the end of the world. This sort of constructive failure is also a very important thing that I teach to my trainees, because once you learn “ur doin it rong”, you can start doing it right .

I understand that being told in no uncertain terms you’re fucking up hurts, but it hurts a lot less than doing it wrong obliviously in the long term. So I say, in fitness, in school, and in life, perhaps we need a little injection of the mean gym, a little bit of Cobra Kai.