In which I review the only workout plan designed to make you fill out your ruffly fuck me shirt…and I did in the opening! This is Fabio Fitness!

...But I think it goes without saying that my modeling credentials pale before the mighty chesticles of…Fabio!

For my younger viewers, a brief run down; Fabio Lanzoni is a model and actor and occasional terrible musician from Italy who rose to fame in the 80s and 90s. When he wasn’t having his nose broken by colliding birds while riding on roller coasters, he rose to fame by, amongst other things, being unable to believe that margarine was not butter and appearing on the covers of various things, like the NES game Ironsword and hundreds of middle aged woman spank fantasies-er, I mean, supermarket romance novels, appearing now in that slightly smelly drawer of your mom’s dresser.

And in 1993 he made a fitness video, because…I dunno, the “Master Roshi’s PG-13 porn” industry needed to increase its female market share?

This is Fabio Fitness. I don’t know if he has exercises to develop that giant bucket chin…,but I’m really hoping! 

And the mood music starts up, ahem, immediately. Make no bones about it, folks, this is lady porn.

Okay so here’s Fabio with his anatomy that’s 95% manboobs. Seriously, does that man even have a neck and shoulders? It looks like just one giant mass of chest meat.

Then they start doing shoulder rotations and is it just me or does Mr. Lanzoni look incredibly stiff and immobile? I suppose that’s what happens when you dedicate your life to looking like a He-Man action figure.

If you liked the video, please subscribe to my Youtube Channel in this link.

Or you can donate to my patreon:

Or you can visit my twitter

Or my Gab