Simultaneously both a workout fail and the most literal depiction of Kung Fail I’ve ever done…David Carradine plays with a PVC pipe for 2 hours, and I try to be as tactful as possible.

Spiral fitness promises to use kung fu inspired motions for total body fitness, with the help of the spiralnaught, a green mystical…uh, PVC pipe. And as I try not to mock the manner of Mr. Carradine’s death, or his other…less than proud moments in his life, let’s jump in.

We see this guy having a lot of fun playing with his PVC pipe. But there’s tingsha bells in the music so this is like spiritual and oriental and stuff….

TIMES NEW ROMAN, the font of champions!

…Mockery aside, this is all about imagery right? So are you supposed to just imagine that the resistance is added, or is this some kind of Charles Atlas dynamic tension thing? And is it just me or is this woman hot in a really annoying sort of way?

And now we have Rob doing his stick twirls to a hip hop beat to show he’s down with the urban youth.

…Nothing like fortune cookie pop philosophy and lame hip hop beats to get me motivated!

Sweetie, I wouldn’t pull on random dolphin appendages. You’ll make it mad…or make it horny. Either way, you’re in for a world of hurt…When you give a little to the dolphin, you’re just giving him ideas, he’s gonna go for it all!

…The idea of the golden spiral, Fibonacci sequences, and sacred geometry go way back, so they’re technically not wrong but going from “nautilus shells grow in a logarithmic spiral” to “twirl this pipe around” is a pretty big leap in logic don’t you think?

If you liked the video, please subscribe to my Youtube Channel in this link.

Or you can donate to my patreon:

Or you can visit my twitter

Or my Gab