“Try a little tenderness? The fuck does that mean?” you might be asking incredulously.

So, I don’t know if you’ve noticed…but the website you’re reading now is titled “The Barbaric Gentleman”.

That seems insultingly obvious to you, dear reader, but hear me out. Think about what that title means—think about what it means to have the capacity to be both the savage and the refined nobleman in you.

From my own personal experience, this combination is what drives women absolutely nuts, and is arguably a somewhat more intellectual version of the ideal that all women seem to want, that of the semi-tamed, semi-reformed “bad boy”. I know this because I have had women tell me directly that I make them feel submissive and weak-at-the-knees in a way that no man has ever made them feel before. Furthermore, when I have told these women about my past as a violent juvenile delinquent, COMBINED with my current highbrow intellectual leanings (the poetry and all that)…well, that just opens up the floodgates.

You already know this—I’ve argued this point many times—and some of you are probably now asking what any of that has to do with tenderness? Because when I use the term “tenderness”, most of you are probably under the impression that this involves showing some amount of (barf) vulnerability.

And, yes, that is *exactly* what I’m saying…in very small quantities.

In limited doses, showing a bit of emotional vulnerability, or gentleness if you will, can make a woman’s attraction to you ironclad.
Now, of course, by this I don’t mean become a whiny pussy. I would say that you should be a stoic brute 95% of the time, but on occasion open up to her emotionally. I must specify again that when you are opening up to her emotionally, you should do so in a controlled and dignified way (remember your meditation), but emotionally opening up nonetheless.

Why is this more effective than just being a stoic brute 100% of the time? Because it makes her feel unique—the idea that you are always stoic and strong but that you are willing to show cracks in your facade FOR HER. It all goes back to being the “Reformed bad boy”; that you can occasionally show weakness while still being able to kick people’s asses will turn her on tremendously. And of course, establishing that you are the brawny man of action must be done before you even THINK about opening up emotionally—Most women dream about the semi-tamed bad boy, but will have their vaginas clam up at the thought of some weepy pussy.

The question is, though, how much of each should you use in your romantic interactions (and indeed, all interpersonal relations)? In other words, how much brutality and how much emotion should you use? I’d say that you should wait for it to be really meaningful before you consider opening up to her emotionally, but if you can’t muster the feels immediately, try to aim for once every 6 months or so—that way it’ll be rare enough that it’ll be meaningful, but common enough so that it won’t be a total surprise.

Some, naturally, will argue that you should go 100% barbarian, and eschew any gentleness—those who would do so are either mildly autistic teenagers (like I was), or are fat-bodied keyboard alpha males who have never felt a breast in their life beyond their own. My thesis, what I have always advocated because it has worked wonders for me, is to make yourself something of a brutal and animalistic aristocrat who can turn the animal on and off. Similarly, you can turn emotional vulnerability on and off—and thus, preferably “off” 95% of the time.

Because that 5% is a magic panty-dropper when used sparingly and judiciously.