…Monogamy!
Yes, that thing that causes every wannabe playboy and Casanova to recoil in fear and disgust!
Undoubtedly, you’re already furiously typing away, saying that monogamy is just a shackle on the wrist of the most alpha of alpha males, wedding (haw haw) them to one “post wall hag” and preventing them from achieving their potential of banging hundreds ofnubiles.
There is a certain appeal to that sort of “cockloose and fancy free” lifestyle; I certainly had a lot of fun spinning plates in my college and graduate school days, and in some alternative universe, I might have myself a harem of soft young things begging for my seed.
But, having happily found myself once again in a loving relationship with one woman, I have only reaffirmed something that some of my fans may not like:
That having one woman to come home to, and support you is,actually, pretty goddamn awesome.
Is that not what you expected me to ever say? I seem to have come to terms with this tendency of mine during the period in between me breaking up with my last girlfriend and meeting the new one. I will admit that my last girlfriend was the first relationship I ever had that lasted more than a year (3 years to be specific), and was preceded by lots of casual sex.
After that relationship ended, I said to myself “Well, time to spin the plates again, and throw myself into a glorious maelstrom of female flesh and voluptuary!”
And yet…it all felt hollow, and I didn’t obtain the same enjoyment from it that I had in younger days.
Simply put, I had spiritually evolved beyond the need for meaningless sex for its own sake. I, in fact, wanted a woman for romantic reasons IN ADDITION to the purely sexual.
So, I obtained that which I wanted yet again, and I was capable of doing so while still remaining the masculine “alpha male” that I had made myself to be (yes, even with a horrible Americunt I am capable of remaining a masculine “head of my household”, how shocking!)
Yes, I’ll admit that I craved love and affection in addition to the carnal pleasures. But more important to all of you wannabe playboys out there, consider this: I had found myself burned out on the pursuit of sex for its own sake. Bear in mind that in the annals of playboydom, I am not particularly accomplished—by my rough estimate, I have slept with 60-70 different women in my lifetime, a number 10 times greater than that of your average American man. Impressive to your average sexless dweeb, but I freely admit it is not anything to be written into the legendarium.
And even at 70, I have difficulty remembering about half of the women I’ve slept with—and that’s not such a great feeling. I have found meaningless sex to be…well, meaningless.
And while this all may seem bizarre considering the harem statement I made previously, I don’t think so—theoretically, I think some men are quite capable of giving love and affection to 2-3 women at once, and receive their adoration in turn, but the key here is *love and affection*. Y’know, that thing that separates us from the beasts (and yes, I am aware that many animals pair bond—I’m being poetic here, I do happen to be a poet)
Some of you are undoubtedly thinking “ROFL, Larsen is a purple pilled beta faggot HAW HAW!”, just as the occasional hate mail I *still* receive for the American woman article will sometimes say, but I don’t think the conclusions I’ve drawn in this article are purely the products of my own mind.
To cite an example of the long-term effect that meaningless sex can have on a guy, who better to use as that example than Hef himself?
There was a guy who just looked absolutely miserable in his twilight years, a guy who had to look at gay porn while fucking his girls just to get to “normal”. I don’t know about you, but I never want to get to a point where I’m so utterly bored with sex—I felt myself starting to get bored with plate spinning, and once you get to that point, I feel you’re just one step away from requiring deeper and deeper levels of depravity to pop a boner. And then before you know it you’re reenacting Hellraiser and that’s just dreadful.
And all of what I’ve just said is the problems that meaningless plate spinning for its own sake will have on you. I haven’t said anything of how a non-monogamous culture would likely be horrifically cruel to the man that is a sexual loser—oh wait, did I say “likely”? I meant“our non-monogamous sexual free for all culture IS horrifically cruel to sexual losers”. And most cultures that encourage a few men to bogart multiple women tend to be, well…pretty shitty.
So…yes, excuse me if I’m not going around claiming I AM NO LONGER YOUNG AND NAÏVE ENOUGH TO THINK I AM CAPABLE OF LOVE in the Tucker Max mold, I am a monogamist.
I understand that a young man just dipping his foot into sexual waters will want to rack up notches (like myself), and that goes double if said young man feels that he has to prove some sort of sexual “point”(Again, yours truly, feeling the need to run as hard as I could away from the sexually incompetent stereotyped image of an Asian man and wage a one man penile crusade to show that I, at least, was not that stereotype).
But once you get 10 or 20 notches, I genuinely recommend going for something more than just sex for its own sake—after all, you can’t really expect Stacy McSlut to cook you dinner, but your girlfriend or wife will(and again, for those of you saying REEEE AMERICAN WOMEN DON’T COOK…look a little harder for a woman that isn’t a complete bitch).
And hey, the sexual experiences you develop plate spinning will make a woman fall *that much harder* in love with you.