The Life and Times of Frank Dux (Kung Fail)

Frank Dux: The writer and base of the movie Bloodsport. I love Bloodsport, you love Bloodsport, everybody loves Bloodsport. But it’s a load of crap.

Frank Dux is along the lines of Kung Fail alumnus Count Dante, in that he DOES have legitimate martial arts training, in karate and judo from the looks of it, but rather than just present his background as is he would rather jack himself off with flights of fantasy and amass a following of fellow Walter Mittys. In fact, Frankie might actually suffer from a medical ailment that causes delusions of grandeur, but we’ll get to THAT.

First of all, let us describe Frank Dux as described by Frank Dux.

Dux lived an ordinary life in California in the 60s until his teenage years, the son of a decorated veteran of Britain’s fabled Jewish Brigade in WW2, when he was introduced to the illustrious and covert art of ninjutsu by Senzo “Tiger” Tanaka, the world’s greatest martial artist, and the compendium of 40 generations of martial teachings. Tanaka-San is world famous too, as illustrated by the fact that his real life exploits were depicted in the film You Only Live Twice *cough*

 Tanaka was Frank’s shidoshi, which is a word that nobody uses except for the coolest of the cool. Ahem.

Dux then served in the US Marine Corps from 1975 to 1981, where he was sent into Southeast Asia on covert missions that would earn him the Medal of Honor. He killed many men with guns, with knives, and his bare hands, and he described these in Black Belt Magazine, which we’ll get to in a little bit.

In 1975 he went AWOL from the marines to participate in his greatest triumph: The Kumite! A secret martial arts competition in that wellspring of martial arts…er, The Bahamas, this was a 60 round, single  elimination tournament that is held every 5 years. Why every 5 years? Well undoubtedly because the stresses of running a tournament of that magnitude breaks the fabric reality and necessitates a need for intergalactic and interdimensional travel, but more on that in a bit.

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