It’s time to break out an old video in the interim of me not being able to make new videos.

About a year ago, I made a review of a very silly kid’s anti-bullying safety video made by some company that may or may not exist. Somehow they managed to rope basketball legend (and Bruce Lee co-star) Kareem-Abdul Jabbar into this train wreck.

But the obtuse participation of an NBA Legend  (whose name I unfortunately mis-hyphenated in the video title) is just one of the many bounties that this video will present for you. You’ll learn that slapping is a far superior attack method to punching, how to defend yourself from the dreaded “you have something on your shirt” attack, that headlocks can simply be walked away from (even though all bullies are going to be better fighters than you so you shouldn’t even try to fight back), that dorky white children are the greatest threat to ourselves and our posterity, and more! Some of it involving a disturbing cartoon fox.

Speaking of disturbing cartoons, you get to see my old, amateurish as all hell logo again.

Anyway, what’s really important about all of this is that the Monkey Steals The Peach technique is proven to be the ultimate in self defense, as is the Millwall Brick that I have already shown you.

And then at the end, I discuss the implications of becoming a sociopathic god to protect yourself from pedophiles. It starts off great and all, but then you end up living on the top floor of a pagoda after gouging out your own eyes, and ultimately you end up being strangled by a man in a yellow jumpsuit.

Don’t be like Kareem, be Street Smart instead.

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