In my last article, “Bullying Is Good For You”, I discussed the need of men to occasionally be humbled, and conversely, the need for men to be resilient in defeat and learn from their mistakes, to avoid making them again. This made me ask another question: how DOES one become resilient?
The concept of emotional resiliency is essentially the capability to “bounce back” from failure, to fall and pick yourself up again. Implied in that is having an intimate knowledge of yourself (not in the “biblical sense”, dumbwad, but in the emotional sense), and thus knowing what you are capable of bouncing back from, and what will only lead to persistent failure. Perhaps my personal experience will illuminate:
During my adolescence, I was crippled with self-doubt and self-loathing: the slightest failure (and I had a lot of them) would waylay me with shame. And with shame came hatred towards people more successful than me-“those fucking jocks/preps/blonde sluts”, etc. I was angry because I was supposed to have “self-esteem”, according to every stupidly grinning guidance counselor, but they had done nothing to tell me how to obtain this magical talisman. My addled brain grinded its wheels, trying to think of a way to get this mystical substance: Maybe I had to just want it, really hard! Maybe I had to go saunter off to some corporate-approved wild and “find myself”.
It took a lot of reflection (ultimately resulting in me asking myself “what reason do I have to feel good about myself?”) for me to realize something that shocked me: the reason I had no self-esteem was because I had no reason to have any. Essentially, I was correct to hate myself because, there was absolutely nothing to like about myself: I was a flabby, boring, untalented, depressive, unconfident, hate-filled scumbag that masturbated three times a day. You would have hated me as much as I did.
In other words, I had indeed found myself, only to realize that there was nothing worthwhile to find. It was like opening up a treasure chest and finding nothing but ropes and needles for injecting mercury into a syphilitic penis.
From there, despite the advice of every well-meaning bureaucrat telling me to “be myself”, I set out to, essentially, make myself: I started with physical training and proper dieting, a major component of the articles and videos on this website. I reduced my indulgences in onanism by 80% (I didn’t go for the last 20% because, on occasion, you’ve gotta clean out the pipes). Then I made efforts to make myself somebody worth speaking to: I began to play one musical instrument, then another, and then two more. I pored over “tomes of eldritch and forgotten lore” to gain insight into culture and metaphysics, largely to educate myself but also to turn myself into a more convivial guest at soirees and other genteel social settings. Like magic, I began to become happier and less hateful.
From private training came a burgeoning confidence, which led me to develop some modicum of public speaking skills, and lastly, I achieved nerddom’s ancient dream of convincing a woman to sleep with me. And from there, I convinced many more women to sleep with me. And wouldn’t you know it, the next time I failed at something, I didn’t let it get me down, because I had the confidence that only past success can bring. I bounced back. I was resilient.
And there lies the point that I have been meandering towards this entire article. To become resilient, you need self-esteem, and to get it, you have to MAKE it. You have to earn it, by actually accomplishing things. Personally, I would recommend starting with things you can accomplish on your own, like fitness and playing musical instruments-essentially, it’s easier to deal with humiliation when you’re just by yourself getting a lump to the back of the head or whatever. From there, you can ease yourself into public interaction and exhibition of your skills and talents. Take it slow, rather than attempting to become perfect in one day. And with accomplishments, resiliency will come naturally and unconsciously.
For those seeking a resurgence of traditional masculinity, bear in mind that emotional resilience is something that is expected of men more than women-this is something that is almost universal amongst all cultures in the world. Recall my article on katabasis, and how stories of men having to overcome hardship are found in all literate cultures. Strictly speaking, while not every story of overcoming hardship is a katabasis, the theme of triumphing over adversity and becoming stronger because of it, is found in every culture in the world (if you don’t believe me, ask Joseph Campbell), and it just so happens that men are more likely to seek conflict, violence, and hardship, because testosterone is a hell of a drug.
With that being said, I’m going to go out on a limb and say that women are quite capable of resiliency, and should cultivate it. Cultures of the past did abound with tales praising a woman’s fortitude and gentle strength, from the ancient Chinese didacticism of “Lady Feng and the Bear” to the old American gold-miner’s song which goes “If she can mush through ice and snow, when it’s 45 below…hurry up and send me the lady”.
You can bet that women of antiquity had been busting their humps all their lives, and wouldn’t be caught dead going into screaming hysteria over an airline gently telling them they were too fat to fly in a plane (in fact, they would likely not have BEEN too fat to fit in an airplane, had airplanes existed). That’s probably because those women in the past had actually survived hardship and accomplished things.
Nor would any self-respecting shield maiden or nadeshiko spend all her time pointing ‘n spluttering and saying “WOW JUST WOW I CAN’T EVEN” with the Gawker biddies. Those women of the past were simultaneously both stronger and more feminine than any of the loud sea-cows that drive cultural policy today. And, spoiler alert, men like women that are feminine (ie: thin, graceful, nurturing, gentle, etc. etc.)
If you have completely bought into the philosophy of modern decadence and apathy, you may now be asking yourself “why SHOULD I be resilient?” I don’t like to be insulting, but…you know what sort of person isn’t resilient? Tumblr crybabies. Fat acceptance advocates. “Hashtag Badass” women who establish their “badass” bonafides by crying until somebody else does something for them. All the other progressive imbeciles that have to retreat into their hugboxes whenever somebody looks at them funny, calls them a name they don’t like, creates an ad campaign that even slightly implies that they are not perfect in every possible way, or brushes up against them in a crowded public area. And, to take the piss out of “our side”, we can throw the MGTOWs into the “hysterical blubbering vagina” category as well.
These people are completely incapable of polite debate, completely incapable of listening to any opinion that is not 100% like theirs in every respect. They are incapable of taking the slightest bit of constructive criticism. These people are weak, and incapable of “bouncing back”. Why else would they have to constantly puff themselves up with their constant inversion of morality? Why else are they incapable of doing anything without an overbearing bureaucracy constantly patting them on the head for reassurance?
The reason they need constant reassurance is because they know they have failed to accomplish anything, and their only employment prospect is in being an amoral huckster constantly bloviating about perceived discrimination, and from there large payments for lectures and crappy books (however, if anybody wants to pay me to do a lecture or write a crappy book, I will be more than happy to take your money).
The crybabies who drive modern society took to heart all the huggy nonsense about “being yourself” and have ended up bitter and antagonistic, because deep inside of them they know that they are incredibly dissatisfied with themselves-perhaps this is why anti-depressant use is skyrocketing in the Western world, where all of this nonsense has taken a deep hold? And predominantly by women, no less.
So, my advice to you is: if you see yourself as fragile and un-resilient, and find yourself getting offended by everything, it’s because, quite frankly, you probably have no reason to feel good about yourself. Make yourself a better person, get some real accomplishments under your belt, learn some skills, get the sweat flowing and dirt under your fingernails and you’ll become a much more upbeat and likable person-I don’t promise you great financial success, but I do promise you will be better than you used to be.
Or you can choose to be like the staff at Jezebel: a bunch of spoiled ingrates who have literally never been told “No” in their entire lives, never worked a real job in their lives, and spend all their days hysterically flailing their wrists at things that they don’t like. I ask, to men AND women…who do you want to be like?