New On Return of Kings: The Kama Sutra

You likely remember my article on the Kama Sutra from a few months back. Today, on Return of Kings, I have posted an article cutting to the heart of the matter, the meat and potatoes of the book: Actual instruction on sexual positions without all of the discussions of caste hierarchy, dharma, and religious rites that characterize the unabridged Kama Sutra.

The most important thing to remember when studying the erotic arts is that most sexual positions are, in fact, variations of the basic ones you know without instruction—typically, the mere act of placing the legs in a slightly different place constitutes a new position. With that being said, a few of them are actually the nigh-incomprehensible techniques only alluded to on bad sitcoms. But those will perhaps be for another time.

And so, without further ado:

What we in the modern day and age refer to as oral sex, Vatsyayana referred to as “mouth congress”—and I’m honestly surprised that some fedora-tipper hasn’t started using that term. As stated above, I will be providing instructions for both men and women because A) The techniques are obviously different for each sex and B) Considering that the overwhelming majority of blowjobs I’ve gotten in my life have been absolutely horrendous, I feel the women of the world could use some proper edification. But first the men:

When performing cunnilingus, the key is to stimulate the clitoris. In other words, don’t just slobber all over the vulva like a dog lapping up some tasty bits off the floor. Use the tongue to palpate the clitoris, letting her responses guide you.

Side note: When I say “let her responses guide you,” I mean that in the sense of “listen to how she reacts to your tongue magic and react accordingly,” not “stop every 10 seconds and ask her for consent and approval.” This isn’t California.

For the women performing fellatio: the two biggest problems I’ve had afflicted on me are the use of teeth, and literally “sucking” the penis as if it were a straw. Avoid doing these in the future. Use the hands,  and use the oral cavity and tongue as if they were hands as well.

You can read the article here