The Sexual Trauma of Pac-Man

“The Sexual Trauma of Pac-Man?”

Yep, kids, now we’re getting into the Halleck video vault…mainly because the jackoff repairing my computer ordered the wrong set of parts for it, so I still don’t know when new videos are going to be coming.

But let’s speak of very slightly more positive things:

This delightfully absurd little video was part of my Bordello Arcade series profiling various erotic video games…except in this case anti-erotic would probably be the word to use. For while I highly doubt that Namco-Bandai intended Pac-Man 2: The New Adventures to be full of the worst sort of sexual energy…it somehow came off as one of the most tragic depictions of masculine defeat and humiliation ever made.

A story of the ennui of modern man, longing for his younger happier days under the heel of a nagging wife. A nagging wife that has turned the bedroom into a barren charnel pit of shame and degradation as she forces her husband to take physical and emotional beatdowns in the hopes of any sort of sexual release. The story of a husband forcing his sorrows down via his labors and occasional steroid use.

…Yes, I’m still talking about Pac-Man.

Beyond all of the bizarre talk about a little yellow circle’s mid-life crisis, you the viewer can probably tell that this video’s production is not quite as *ahem* polished as my later videos. But with all that being said, I still feel this is probably the best of my video game reviews. As a final bit of trivia, you get to hear me playing Schubert’s Schwanengesang on a crappy Casio keyboard, and see me make references even more obscure than my usual ones.

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