Rogue Learning: Chris Chan

Oh yeah. We’re going here. To the darkest, deepest corner of internet infamy. To the one person who may, in fact, have absolutely no positive qualities at all (in a way that makes him merely pathetic and pitiable rather than demanding retribution upon him)—Ruckersville, Virginia’s own Christian Weston Chandler—Chris Chan!

Who?

Please. You know who Chris-Chan is. But if you honestly do need a primer: Christian “Chris-Chan” Chandler is a webcomic artist/moderately autistic/severely emotionally retarded 35 year old man who lives with his parents from Virginia, USA, who, via a combination of his horrendous webcomic and real-life idiocy, has become an international laughingstock of internet culture on the whole.

As I said above, he is a severely dysfunctional human being, in a way that cannot be merely explained by his confirmed mental disability, and as such, unlike my previous two “Rogue Learning” articles there’s literally nothing admirable about Chris-Chan. He is the shining example of the “anti-example” for men. This article could very well be summed up as “do the opposite of what Chris does and you’ll live a decent life”.

But, if you want more detail…

The Baddest People Are the Most Pathetic

For all the talk you find in the manosphere of being a “bad boy” and “using the dark triad”, take a real good look at somebody who has completely abandoned any sense of goodness, has totally given into the “hedonistic imperative”, and has absolutely no redeeming qualities.

Surprise! It’s somebody like Chris-Chan. And frankly, that’s why I don’t fully support the whole “hedonist dark triad” idea, because when you decide “morality doesn’t apply to me, I’ma do what I feel like”, it’s probably going to lead to something like this rather then the Christian Gray fantasy Dark Triad hucksters think will happen.

Good Parenting is of the Utmost Importance

As Chris is very fond of telling people, he is autistic, and he uses that as an excuse for his dysfunction. However, many autistic people despise Chris-Chan for this very  reason, and rightfully so. Those people have the exact same hurdle, if not a higher one, and they’ve managed to jump it more successfully than Mr. Chandler. So what, exactly, is the cause for Chris’s utter inability to act like a mature adult?

His family.

From the beginning, one can see that, rather than getting their mentally handicapped son help that might ameliorate his condition, his parents coddled him, exacerbating the inherent problems he had and making their son utterly incapable of being a functional adult. On that note…

Too Little Too Late

To his credit, Chris’ father seemed to, in his later years, realize how badly he messed up his son, and at least tried to make amends, such as his infamous internet lumberjacking. However, by that time Chris was in his mid twenties, and decades of bad parenting cannot be amended by a few last minute changes. And now that the better of the two parents is dead, it’s highly unlikely any improvement will ever occur.

Fitness and Self Improvement are Imperative for Men

Looking at a picture of Chris, we can see that, facially, everything is at the very least in order—he’s not deformed or disfigured. While few would call him “handsome”, he could, at the very least, have looked halfway decent with what genetics gave him. I’ve always argued that no man has any business being below a 5/10 unless he’s literally disfigured. Even if your face is ugly, your body, posture, and clothing can more than make up for it.

However, instead of working with the hand he was dealt and maximizing his natural appearance to be the best it possibly could be, Chris lived a life and sloth and gluttony that atrophied his musculature, vastly expanded his girth, and ravaged his skin, hair, and teeth, doing no favors for his physical appearance or his medical history

Sexual Failure Brings Men to Strange Places

Probably the most infamous aspect of CWC is the utter incompetence he displays in his sexual endeavors. From scaring off every woman he’s ever been close with, to awkwardly walking around with signs and placards proclaiming his desire for a woman, he spent the overwhelming majority of his life as a “virgin with rage”, and even if you believe him that he is no longer a virgin, he had to resort to losing his virginity to a (no doubt horribly traumatized) prostitute.

I am not here to shame Chris for sleeping with a hooker, that’s hardly the most shameful thing a man could do. I’m pointing out his sexual dysfunction to connect it to what he’s been up to recently: namely, declaring himself to be a woman, undergoing hormone replacement therapy, and getting a perineum piercing in a bizarre attempt to give himself a vagina—a piercing that since became septic.

Is it bigoted of me to posit that sexually incompetent and mentally unstable men are more likely to become transwomen than other men? Perhaps, but I do notice that (with one notable, Olympic Medal-winning exception), transpersons are overwhelmingly mentally ill and dysfunctional human beings. It’s an established “hate fact” that they attempt suicide at rates exponentially higher than the mainline populace, and only a fool would argue that suicide ISN’T a sign of some sort of mental dysfunction. Therefore, if transsexuals can be shown to have higher rates of mental illness than a control population, is it so wrong to assume that the inverse is also true (ie: the mentally ill are more likely to be transgender)?

“…Put Away Childish Things”

Working hand in hand with the parental coddling is the fact that Chris has fully dedicated his life to incredibly childish pursuits—ignoring how his artistic skills have not improved since he was actually a child, he doesn’t have any sort of job and his life revolves around juvenilia—video games and collectible card games and toys.

But that could be said of any cartoonist or a video game designer—what makes Chris so repugnant is that not only are his interests all childish, his relationship to them is very childish. In his delusion, he believes to some extent that his favorite video game characters exist, and he so greatly overreacts to changes to his “Center” of video games that he acts out in ways that get him arrested for his actions.

Combine that with his previously mentioned romantic follies, which are all very “pre-pubescent” in their gormlessness, and we can see the damaging effects of arrested emotional development

And finally:

Most Haters Are Terrible People

A phenomenon unique to the “Chrisosphere” is that of “A-Logging“, which is defined as people who take their disdain for Chris to an extreme extent—a few notable examples include people wishing bodily harm and even death upon him, and of course Godwin’s Law is invoked when people say that Chris is worse than Hitler.

A curious thing you’ll notice about all this is that most of the people who despise Chris to such a passionate extent…are themselves terrible human beings that are barely better than Chris!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: anybody who defines themselves strictly by who or what they hate is, more often than not, a complete loser who has nothing going on in their lives. Thus we have an indirect example of learning something from Chris-Chan’s example: if you find yourself spending hours on the Sonichu wikia, obsessing over every factoid about this pathetic Virginian and contributing to the website…rethink your life choices.

All of this is merely scratching the surface of the cavalcade of failure and mundane entropy that is Christian Chandler. If you want to learn more, visit the Wiki linked several times above. But throughout all of it, you will likely come to the same conclusion that I came to when I first came across this “lolcow” in high school, and I alluded to in an earlier paragraph.

If you want to be a good man, just do the exact opposite of what you see Chris doing.

 

  • James Sunderland

    I’ve read about this guy awhile back,it’s kind of funny and sad at the same time. He reminds me of a person I grew up with who isn’t faring much better. This guy blamed everyone for his lot in life and never put forth any effort into improving himself.I’ve noticed a lot of younger men falling into this category,literally trying to redefine what a man is or how a man should act. To me, a man is not “going his own way” if he puts all of his time/energy in to bashing women.It’s just “sour grapes”.