“What? An article on Thursday?” you ask? Indeed, this is slightly unusual, and despite what happened last week I don’t plan on this being a regular thing. The reason I am writing this article is because recent developments in my life have been most amusing and demand to be discussed.
The dear friend of The Barbaric Gentleman named Eurasian Tiger/Lion/Writer/Bobcat/Whatever has once again shoehorned himself into my life—and yeah, I figure you’re all annoyed at me bringing up the sniveling crybaby hapa faction again. Don’t worry, it’s going to have a decent payoff.
Anyway, he has recently dubbed himself “Taylor Hart” on Twitter (that is absolutely not his real name) and is using this image as his profile picture.
What would you say about this guy? He’s not exactly a stud, but there’s nothing ugly about him per se. He’s inoffensive, a solid 6/10 I would say speaking platonically. But a 6/10 average guy seems a bit incongruous; after all, ET has repeatedly referred to himself as a “god that women constantly stare at on the street”
The reason for this incongruity is that the guy in the picture is Eric Stinehart, Olympic class skater and, unlike “Taylor Hart”, a “hapa” that has actually accomplished something in his life—and he has the stain of being born to a white man and Asian woman, even!!!1
Blindingly obvious sarcasm aside, why did “Taylor” choose to impersonate another, better man? Perhaps an actual picture of Eurasian Tiger would elucidate.
Well, that would…certainly explain that. In fact, it would explain why Housecat never shows his face when he’s leading the Bitch Brigade. I hate to sound like a catty teenage girl, but…uh…the reason why you’ve never had sex probably wasn’t because of “muh white supremacy emasculating Asian men”.
“Larsen, what the fuck does this have to do with you?” you’re probably asking.
Remember now, we’ve established that Eurasian Housecat impersonates more handsome and accomplished Eurasians. Looking at “Taylor Hart’s” Facebook page shows he has a friend named “John Paul Green”…and guess who that is!
Yes people, entirely unbeknownst to me, I am apparently named John Paul Green and I am friends with Olympic skater Eric Stinehart, AKA Taylor Hart the one man ethnic slur who has dedicated his life to whining on Reddit about how he can’t get laid.
(Even more hilariously, the profile picture for Taylor Hart used to be this chiseled, lantern-jawed Eurasian guy—in marked contrast to ET’s actual, turkey-esque face shown above, but it appears to be deleted, as has “John Paul Green’s” profile picture.)
Combine what we’ve seen here with “Taylor’s” known sockpuppeting, and what conclusions can be drawn?
Eurasian Tiger, the 9/10 alpha male, slayer of white supremacy, defender of hapas…is apparently such a pathetic excuse for a human being that he pretends to be me so he can befriend “himself” (in the guise of a much more handsome and successful man of his same ethnicity). So he can pretend that he has somebody as cool as me as his friend.
In a way I’m actually sort of flattered that he apparently looks up to me as a paragon of idealized masculinity—and it makes me realize that all my efforts on this website and Return of Kings and Youtube are worthwhile. Indeed, THERE’S the “confirmation that I’m winning” I promised—confirmation that my writing is so good, that my life experience is so interesting, that my physical training is so successful, that dweebs and losers look up to me like some sort of hero.
…But also, the fact that there are people out there so lame that a small-fry like me is considered some great shakes is probably one of the most pitiable things I’ve ever seen.
Eurasian Tiger, I know you’re reading this, so look: I understand you have a terrible family and had a miserable adolesence. I understand you’ve never had sex (and no, Persephone allowing you to hump her leg doesn’t count). And I understand that you see me as somebody vastly superior to you in all respects (since you only impersonate models and professional athletes and other paragons).
I have had similar struggles to you, albeit nowhere near as extreme—and I want to help.
Just say the word and I’ll gladly gie you a free copy. Or you can keep playing Larsen Halleck make believe. Its up to you.